Aliens, zombies...this weekly wrap reads like a terrible horror flick. Would you watch that movie? Alien Zombies? I wouldn’t, but I don’t like scary movies. Steven King’s It permanently ruined scary movies (and clowns) for me. I don’t really miss either. If you’re like me, go ahead and learn about all these great email marketing tidbits. If you’re not...imagine this wrap as the plot of Alien Zombies: Dead Space Nine.

Why would you want to turn your email newsletter subscribers into aliens? Is it a known fact that aliens are more likely to purchase something from your newsletter? Perhaps I misinterpreted that headline. I should have read the article on 7 Ways to Alienate Your Email Newsletter Subscribers.

It’s not easy being green...unless you’re using email marketing. Then Kermit needs something else to sing about. Good thing he’s got “Kokomo” in his repertoire. That song's about all sorts of locales on planet Earth, which brings me to my point: Combine Your Green Advertising with an Earth Day Email Template.

I know what you’re thinking: Dead email addresses become zombies? Zombies that trap spam? You weren’t thinking that? You are now. Find out How Your Dead Email Addresses Get Turned into Spam Traps.

You’d think booze and entertainment would sell itself. I guess it does, once you get the customers in the door. Email marketing to the rescue! Check out our new Bar & Nightclub Email Marketing Manual.

More aliens? Is Hal from the Roswell of Canada? At least the picture in this blog is hilarious slash creepy (the one of the chef, not Hal). Find out about how Excessive Email Personalization May Alienate Your Restaurant Patrons.

You generally refer to a person as “out of my league” if they’re above and beyond who you’d usually date. I always like “out kicked my coverage” better, but that’s because I’m a football guy. I think I’ll have to add “punch above your weight class” to the mix. In a different context, you can read about Email Marketing: How to Punch above Your Weight Class.

Glad to see someone else championing social media integration around these parts. Leaves me more time to write these nonsensical weekly wraps and the such. So, How Does Twitter Figure Into Email Marketing?

The first time I saw Robert Plant was at Bonnaroo when he was touring with Allison Krauss. I had just spent 4 days in the sweltering heat, barely sleeping. Enjoying anything at that point seemed like a long shot. Then I discovered the magic of arepas and found a grassy spot to enjoy one of the greatest rock singers of all time. It was no wonder that I was eager to open my email when the Artist Den Applies Email Marketing with a Whole Lotta Love.

Ask them! I’m sure it’s more detailed than that, though. Let me know, after you read our New Email Marketing Manual: How to Get Better User Feedback.

Sexy Greek women in swimsuits. I could tell you I wasn’t responsible for picking the Email Newsletter Awards, but would you believe me? Good work, Jen! Check out the Email Newsletter Awards: Best Fashion Newsletter.