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Hal Licino

The Brand That’s Not Bland: With Apologies To Dr. Seuss

Mar 25 2014, 03:00 AM by

Bland Brand, That Won't Stand!

 

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The CEO did not sign
The approval to stray
From the very tight budget
On that cold, cold, wet day.

That left all of marketing
The whole motley crew
Mad, crazed, frustrated
And plotting a coup.

Their branding promotions
Were brought down to a crawl.
So they sat helplessly
As their campaigns hit the wall.

All they could do was to
Sit
 Sit
  Sit
   Sit
And they did not like it
Not one little bit.

BUMP!

And then
Their metrics went BUMP!
That bump made them all jump!

They looked!
And they saw it stretch out from over the land!
They looked!
And they saw it!
The Brand That’s Not Bland!

And it said to them,
“Why do you sit there like that?
I know you have no budget
And can’t allocate money.
But you can still launch
A campaign that’s not crummy!”

“I know some strategies we could use,”
Said the Brand.
“I know some good tricks,”
Said the Brand That’s Not Bland.
“A lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you.
Your bottom line
Will be very happy if I do.”

The whole Marketing Department
Did not know what to say.
It sounded ok so in the Brand’s direction
They were willing to sway.

But Accounting said, “No! No!
Make that Brand go away!
Tell that Brand That’s Not Bland
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here.
He should not be about.
He should not be here
We can’t afford to take that route!”

“Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!” said the Brand.
“My tricks don’t cost money,”
Said the Brand That’s Not Bland.
“Why, we can make
Lots of good cash, truly abundant
With a game that I call
UP-UP-UP with accountants!

"Put me down!" said the accountant.
"This is not profitable at all!
Put me down!" said the accountant.
"Or the cashflow will fall!"

“Have no fear!” said the Brand.
“I won’t let profits fall.
I will have them rise high
In a great big cash haul.
You’ve left your online strategy
Completely unmanned!
You’re not engaging your customers!”
Said the Brand…

“Look at social media!
Look at social media now!” said the Brand.
“You can have direct conversations
With prospects everywhere
An effective branding approach
That your budgets won’t squish!
Your fans will respond with
Lots of comments they want to dish!
And look!
That will drive conversions
But that is not all!
Oh, no.
That is not all…

“Look at social media!
Look at social media!
Look at social media NOW!
You can boost your backlinks
Without resorting to black hats
The opt-ins will be massive
Your clickthroughs will skyrocket
Along with your KPI levels!
Your message will go viral
Through your customer community!
It’s a truly grand plan!
And all that it takes is
A commitment from your whole clan!
One that all departments will span
And your customers enthrall!
But that is not all.
Oh, no.
That is not all…”

That is what the Brand said…
As Accounting fell on their head!
They came down with a bump
And they started to bawl.
It was clear the pencil-pushers
Were itching for a brawl.

“Social media is expensive!
With danger this is fraught.”
They said, "Do we like this?"
Oh, no! We do not.
This is not a good game,"
Said Accounting, having a fit.
"No, we do not like it,
Not one little bit!"

“You’re missing the point!”
Said the Brand to the CPAs.
“Social media is here to stay!
It’s not just a passing craze!
If you think you can ignore it
Give your head a shake!
Social media rocks!
So go claim your stake!
It’s the best marketing plan
To have your branding get hot!
If you keep on denying that
Then you don’t know squat!”

“So pay close attention
To the strategy I’ve taught.”
Said the Brand That’s Not Bland,
“And give it your best shot!
But before I go away,
One more thing that I know,
Before that I go,” said the Brand That’s Not Bland
So
 So
  So
Keep your Face on your Facebook
Keep your Twitter A-Twitting
Keep your Google A-Plussing
And your LinkedIn A-Linking
Get your head out of the sand
Join the social media band
Get your pages well-fanned
And your brand won’t be bland!”

Posted in Benchmark Series & Contests, Bland Brand, That Won't Stand!

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Comments

Cynthia knisely

Mar 26 2014, 05:24 PM

I would love to win.

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