I love the thought of beautiful orange and crimson leaves falling on the sidewalk, but I do fear that they might be covering spilled Halloween chocolates that my puppy will surely find. And if you don’t know it, I’m going to tell you now: chocolate can be lethal for your dog.

So on a grumpy day, when I’m finding fault in really positive things, I’m more inclined to rip your email newsletter for seemingly innocuous faults.

Cheer Up. Here’s Dessert

Sweet. I’ve been sent a deal on frozen yogurt! I love me some of that slightly-less-bad-for-me-good-tasting-stuff. So let’s have a look:


Delicious picture? Check.
Double my money? Check.
30 miles away? Nope.

But I already wrote about the importance of targeting your emails by location, so let’s move on and read the details.

Um, Excuse Me Genius Copywriter, It’s Fall Now…

“Imagine a perfect day at the beach: Beaming sun, big waves, and best friends.

What!?! This email promotion would have been perfect… two months ago. I don’t know, maybe in summer? And don’t tell me all Southern Californians go to the beach year round. I walk my dog on the beach there four times a week. It’s only really motivated surfers and really unmotivated drum circle musicians there these days.

This Summer Ain’t Endless

Maybe someone wants to keep summer going a little longer, but today I’m wearing a sweater. It’s been raining. Isn’t there a Halloween tie-in here? If not, fast forward. Talk to me about white chocolate yogurt. Paint a winter wonderland scene. I might go for that. Besides, I heard that white chocolate is supposed be slightly less lethal to dogs anyway.